Skills of TheMard are evolving and oh how! From making the first fire, to chopping blocks of wood, to wooing Eve, to getting out of bed in modern times - some skills have changed, but you’d be surprised as to how many still rule. Here’s the ultimate list of skills every man should know by age.

Every man should know by 21

1. Tie a necktie : Well yeah… India may not host proms or have a formal dress code for dinner parties, but we do care about the suit-boot enough, thanks to our colonial hangover. If you care enough to dress to impress, move over from your Ed Hardy Tee shirt and suit up, man!

2. Make a fire : Sounds prehistoric, right? You’d be surprised as to how helpful it could be on that road trip you’ll take with the boys. Middle of the night, no help in sight. No problem. Move over, boys - TheMard is here.

3. Drive a car / Ride a bike : So, you believe in public transport? You have your own personal chauffeur (read MOM)? You’re too afraid to ride? You’ll learn in good time? Well, guess what! You’re better off learning it by 21 than by 60. You’re already 3 years behind on that driver’s licence. Now, hurry!

4. Ask a woman/man on a date : Don’t believe in dating? Can’t date and not marry? Not sure (s)he’ll say yes? Chillax. It’s just a date. It’s a fun (clean and unadulterated) evening out with someone you like. Pick something you both can enjoy - a movie, dinner, ride (see #3) and go for it. Make sure smell nice when you ask though.  

5. Treat women right : The sooner you learn this skill, the better. Whatever the movies may show you, whatever BHAI has taught you, whatever the khap panchayats may claim, we know women are not lesser beings. They are as smart, as badass, as funny, as crazy, as cool, as fun as you are. Acknowledge that and respect that. Being violent, abusive, cheap may be BHAI’s style. But you’re better than that. And they (women) are better than that.

Every man should know by 25

6. Buy your groceries : Mommy’s been making your meals? Hostel food and midnight maggi make you happy? You don’t know the difference between ‘aloo’ and ‘kanda’? Too bad, buddy. This is survival 101. If going to the market is a stretch, pull out that smartphone and stock up that fridge! It’s embarrassing to see that leftover pizza lying there for over a week!

7. Throw a party : 3 simple steps. 1. Make a list of people you’d like to invite. 2. Decide if it’s a BYOB or a regular party (arrange for food if it’s the latter) 3. Pick a good time and get the party started. ProTip - Have a designated DJ, i.e., make sure there’s at least ONE friend who knows how to keep the music flowing.

8. Cure a hangover : So you are through with the party, the after party and the after after party? What next? … A hangover, mostly. Don’t let it deter you from having your fun night out though. Find a magic potion that’s right for you and live long, sailor. Even better, help your friends get over theirs and you would be ever indebted to.

9. Change a tire : Self driving cars may be here, but not self changing tyres. You don’t want to be caught in the middle of the jungle with the keys in one hand and waving the other frantically for help. Also, when you’re flexing those biceps, you JUST DON’T KNOW who’s watching!

Every man should know by 30

10. Buy flowers : Flowers are way more than a pretty (easy) gift for your girl. They could be a ‘thank you’ for the assistant, a ‘love you’ for mom, or ’miss you’ for grandpa. It’s as thoughtful and beautiful as TheMard in you. If you’re nearly 30 and haven’t bought flowers for your near & dears, it’s time. “Hey, dad! I got you some flowers”.

11. Cook a healthy meal : So you’re through with abusing your body with cheap booze and fast food? You want to start over and live till a 100? Eat right and hit the gym once in awhile? You’re sure one of the smart ones. But don’t leave it to fate (or the wife or the cook). Learn to put together a few simple, healthy meals you can survive on. You’ll thank us. Side note - there’s a sexy spin to TheMard who cooks.

12. Manage credit cards : With your posh job and your dapper bank account, it’s not a surprise the credit card companies are hounding you with free cards, upgrades, perks and what not to woo you. And now, you have one too many. Our tip? Keep as few as possible, make payments on time and splurge with a cause.

Every man should know by 40

13. Change a diaper : If you still haven’t picked up on this skill, we’ll slyly assume you are far from parenthood...or, you have an angel of a partner you should be absolutely grateful for. But changing a diaper is not as hard and even if not for your kids, it could be your nieces, nephews or grandkids you may be in charge of. This soft side of TheMard we love.

14. Develop a hobby : You’ve been busy getting a life, you forgot to slow down and smell the roses? Well, here’s a good time as any to start. You can pick the uber macho hobbies like carpentry or fishing, or touch upon your softer side with gardening or painting. Whatever it be, make sure you make time for it.